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8 Signs Your Husband is Still Madly in Love With You

 7 Lucky signs he truly loves You8 Signs Your Husband is Still Madly in Love With YouHe knows you hate doing the damn dishes—so he does them.He always says "whatever you want" for date night.He says your first name during sex.He'll go to that theme-party without whining.He's quick to end an argument.He puts the electronics away.He never says the 'D' word.He still makes an effort to surprise you.

7 Lucky signs he truly loves You

Some people, especially those from rural communities, may recall back in the days seeing the bright yellow vines growing on trees that were popularly known as 'love bush'. Finding out whether or not someone was in love with you was simple. All you had to do was draw a handful of the vines spit on it, call the name of your mate and throw back the vines on a tree of your choice. If after a few days the vines were still alive and spreading then you would know for sure that he/she was in love with you. If it died, well... there was no love lost there!

But there is obviously a truer way to tell if he means it when he speaks those three words.

Transformational coach Courtney Kazembe said one first has to understand what love is in order to know when their partner is in love with them.

"Understanding love is the most critical thing. A lot of people mistake attention for love," he said. "Love is when you can tell the person the truth and tell the other person what is going on inside of you."

1. He makes time for you

2. He compromises: Just about every couple will have arguments. How it is dealt with determines how he really feels about you. For him being right isn't as important as doing right by you just to make you happy. Signs of selflessness are huge indicators of love. Love also means dropping his pride and admitting when he's wrong and never being afraid to say I'm sorry.

3. He treats you with respect: This goes without debate, if a man is in love with you, he will respect your opinions and celebrate your accomplishments.

4. He opens up to you: He will tell you what he's thinking, feeling, fearing, and longing for. If he really opens up about things like his childhood, most painful moments, his background, then he now feels comfortable doing so and he means it when he says he loves you, especially if he tells you things he has never told anyone else before.

5. He uses 'us' instead of 'I': When he stops thinking of himself as a single man but has replaced the 'I' with 'Us', showing that you are now a part of his life then he means it when he says he loves you.

6. He wants the best for you; even if it isn't the best for him.

7. You're always on his mind: If he calls you at odd hours of the day just to let you know that you are on his mind and tells you that he genuinely can't stop thinking about you then he mean it when he says I love you.

3 Psychological Triggers That Can Help You Close Deals Faster

By Rusty Williams in Sales, Work SmartAbout 40% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions.  As the calendar flips to a new digit, people see an opportunity for a fresh beginning and a renewed opportunity to commit to their goals.  It doesn’t take long, however, for time to pass and people to fall back into their old ways.  By the end of the year, only 8% of those who made resolutions are able to keep them.

YOUR EX MOVES ON SUPER-FAST

USE THESE POINTS FOR FAITH-BASED PERSPECTIVE:

1. Receive it as confirmation from the Lord.I know in the moment it feels so horrible and almost like betrayal, right? But God has done the same in my life: making something crystal clear when I needed him to. If this guy isn’t for you, it could be easy to stay in contact with him if you both were heartbroken and vulnerable, you know–still pine after him, or send a random text or snapchat every now and then, etc. But when he’s got a new girl, it almost helps you avoid those things by default. The breakup was step one in realizing that God doesn’t have this guy for you. But him moving on to another girl so quickly is step two from the Lord and reinforces that his character isn’t that of a man yet; it’s the character of a boy. 

I’m not slandering him, I’m simply saying if he’s moved on to another girl this quickly, he probably hasn’t been engaging with God first. And as a believer, you don’t want a boy like that. Trust me, God is using this as a way to put a nail in that coffin for good and he’s asking you to trust Him. Do you want to marry a man that has a tough circumstance in life and then runs to everything else except the Lord? Do you want a man who trusts in quick-fixes? Or do you want a man that truly seeks God when something unexpected hits? It seems this boy is not that type of person. Again, not slandering him, just showing you that God is protecting you from a future with this person. Running to the nearest girl after a breakup only reinforces this boy’s character. Choose to see this as a confirmation from God of the original decision to breakup–not as a punishment from Him.

2. Use it as a season to give your broken heart to the Lord.
I know this sounds obvious and cliché—“give your heart to God.” Although you and I know that Christiany phrase, I’ll bet you’re a lot like I was. I usually ran to other things to make me feel better when I was upset about a breakup— a movie, a ton of TV show episodes, eating a lot, talking to my friends about it all the time, a glass of wine, the attention of another guy—anything to make it go away for a little while. But, listen, God is giving you a strategic opportunity to learn how to give HIM your broken heart. Don’t give it to TV. Don’t give it to another boy prematurely. Give it to God. Meet with him every night and pour out your heart to him. Let him be the first one who catches your tears. Read the Psalms for comfort. Don’t give this vulnerable time to any one else. You’re going to wade through the pain of this breakup regardless, so you may as well let it be a tool to deepen your relationship with God.Be able to look back and say, “that was a really rough time, but I do know this: I truly gave it all to the Lord and left it at His feet. I didn’t run somewhere else.” These are the days that you start training your heart to run to the right places when life hits you hard. So this situation isn’t stupid, and it’s not to be lightly passed over. Take it as an opportunity to train your heart to open up to God. Don’t waste this season trying to get to the next one. Some of our deepest seasons with God are those when we are hurt and he comes to comfort us. Don’t shy away or try to act like a hero if you’re truly heartbroken. Be sad, but mourn with God, not the world. God wants that heart of yours, in whatever condition it may be in. And he’s the only one who has the ability to truly mend it:

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
(Psalm 34:18)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
(Psalm 147:3)

3. MOST IMPORTANTLY: Remember who your Savior is
One of the best benefits of being Christian is that we follow a God who understands our deepest heartbreak. What a gift this is! Our God is not one who sits in an ivory tower above us, unfamiliar with what it’s like to be human. One of my favorite parts of Christian doctrine is that Jesus understands divinity, sure, but he understands humanity fully too! He knows what it is to be human, vulnerable, heartbroken, exposed, betrayed, and the like. We have a God that can empathize with our pain, a God who was heartbroken too and can walk with us through it. Remember that Jesus himself was betrayed by those closest to him. He understands that pain. He’s not on the sidelines telling you to “get it together.” He’s on the field with you. He’s been through it too. You feel like this boy moved right past you, onto the “next thing.” You feel picked over. Isn’t it insane that GOD has felt that way and can relate with you? Think of all the times in the Bible and even now that we move right past God, our first love. Think how many times we run to the “next thing” that we think will satisfy. Think how many times we ourselves have done the “picking over.” The people he came to love rejected him without blinking an eye. All that to say, He gets it.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
(Hebrews 4:15)

He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. (John 1:11)

He was despised and rejected–a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised by people, and we did not care.
(Isaiah 53:3)

So we know that God doesn’t have this guy for you. But how do you deal with the “everyday” stuff that hurts so bad?

1. Unfriend, Unfollow, Un-EVERYTHING: I know this is a toughie, but it SO has to happen. You just have to do it: unfollow him. Unfriend him. Delete him from all your apps and your contact list–and hers for that matter! The hardest thing about moving on from an ex in this day and age is that there are about 15 places you cross paths with him (both in the real world and the virtual one) that you have to re-route in order to avoid him: school hallways, hometowns, social gatherings, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, texting, email, Gchat, etc. You have so many portals that lead you to his life and you have to shut them off. It’s hard. It’s really hard. But watching his life from afar will only make it worse. TRUST ME on that one. I did it for way too long, and it’s still tempting sometimes, even though I’m married! Again, if you sneakily “follow him around” on social media, then you’re training your heart for the future. And as a married woman I can tell you, that “I’m just checking in on his life” pattern doesn’t turn off. My heart wants to do that stuff because I did it for almost 7 years in the past. Don’t allow it to become a pattern now. You have the chance to pull the plug and train your heart to not be a social media stalker. It will pay off later. Trust me.

2. Make plans:
This one is pretty obvious. If your schedule is wide open with nothing to do, you can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll end up pining away after this boy, or worse, stalking him on social media. This one is just plain practical: make plans with people. Go to a movie where you can’t be on your cell. Head to a friends house. Go out to eat with your family. Watch a family movie in the living room where everyone can see what you’re doing. Go bowling. Take a jog with a friend and leave your phone at home. Just make some plans—and not with people that will allow you to “accidentally” run into him. Don’t make plans with his best friend or his sister. Capiche? Making plans helps your brain bounce to another activity. My mother always called it “changing the channel.” It really helps.

3. Tell your closest, most reliable friends and have them hold you accountable.
This one is HUGE. Tell a couple close Christian gal-pals (notice I didn’t say talk about it with 15 people) your struggle right now. And make them swear to hold you accountable. When I had a weak moment  during a breakup (i.e.—I REALLY want to text my ex right now. I miss him! Help!), I had a close friend I would text instead. I literally replaced his number in my phone with hers! She knew my situation and she’d always respond—“Sooo glad you texted me. Let’s go get some ice cream. And I’m taking your cell phone when we get there.” We all have friends that will let us do whatever we want. They aren’t the friends you need to keep around you in this season of life. You need the friends that will chuck your phone across a room in order to protect you.

4. Don’t gab about it too much.
You need accountability, yes. But sometimes I used to find myself talking about the breakup under the guise of “I need your accountability.” The truth was this: I just wanted to talk about him. I just liked talking about him and bringing him up. It made me feel like I was still part of his life, like we were still “something.” Try and limit these kinds of conversations. The more you gab about him, the bigger you make the situation in your mind and the harder it is to get over him. Bring it up to a friend when it’s absolutely necessary–you know, like if you feel the urge to contact him or swing by his house. Again, remember, you are using this season to bring it all before the Lord. So if you need to talk about it, talk about it with HIM first.

I hope these points help. Let me know how it’s going. I’d love to hear how to Lord works in this. Praying for you sister!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Jesus
(Matthew 11:28)

8 Steps to get over a breakup as fast as possible

Breaking up sucks. No one likes to do it. We do everything we can to avoid it. But once the inevitable happens, is there anything that can be done to cushion the blow?At different times in my life, I have been the dumper and the dumpee. Being the dumper is never fun because of the anxiety, awkwardness and conflict that is sure to follow. If you're the dumper in a serious relationship, it's not like you don't have a heart: It hurts to see someone you love in pain, even if you believe the relationship has expired.

But being the dumpee — well, that's a whole new level of suck. The majority of us have had the "pleasure" of experiencing the ultimate heartbreak, being dumped out of the blue by someone you are head over heels in love with. And when that happens, what are you to do? Yes, you can dive right into an ice-cream-and-crying-TV-marathon, but that's only going to get you through the first few days.

If you really want to grow, heal and move forward after a bad breakup, here's where to begin:

1. Accept the empty feeling
2. Cut off all contact for real
3. Feel your feelings
4. Challenge your negative thoughts
5. Be brutally honest with yourself
6. Do you
7. Get back out there
8. Look toward the future and don't look back

That moment when you realize you've been dumped by the love of your life feels like death. And as actor and comedian Jim Dailakis points out, it should. The key is to allow yourself to embrace the grief if you ever want to move past it. Dailakis tells SheKnows, "Breaking up is very similar to a death because it is in fact the death of a relationship. For at least a couple of days, remember the good times and allow yourself to cry like mad. An exorcism if you will."

In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Absence is exactly what you need to cool off, process your feelings and change your perspective at the end of a relationship. Laura Yates, a UK-based relationship and dating coach who specializes in heartbreak, explains, "Something I recommend is a period of no contact. No texts, emails or social media messages because you need time and distance to get emotional clarity. When you just break up with someone, your emotions are all over the place — you will likely miss them desperately and overlook all the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place just to have them there with you again."

I'm a big believer in feeling your feelings until you are done feeling them. But sometimes raw feelings, especially after a breakup, can get overwhelming, and that's where cognitive behavioral therapy fits in. According to Dr. Simon Rego, Director of Psychology Training at Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, is your best bet to manage intense and possibly destructive feelings after a relationship ends.

He explains, "Often when people are going through a breakup, they experience certain feelings (sad, anxious, angry, hurt, betrayed, etc.) that influence the way they think (e.g., It's all my fault! I'll never find someone else! I can trust people anymore! etc.) — and vice versa. So, in order to move past a breakup, CBT would have people allow themselves to experience their feelings fully. Don't try to avoid or suppress feeling what you feel — emotions have a function and are there for a reason, even if unpleasant!"

If I've done it once, I've done it a thousand times. I start to allow myself to feel my saddest feelings after being dumped, and then my thoughts take a sordid turn into Crazytown, population: me. Dr. Rego says that this type of post-breakup thought pattern is to be expected. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help challenge thoughts that are spinning out of control.

Dr. Rego recommends, "Don't buy into the thoughts that emerge (e.g., challenge predictions about the future, correct distortions in beliefs, etc.) and slowly but steadily reengage the world (i.e., reach out to social supports, make plans that get you out of the house, exercise and eat well, return to healthy sleeping habits, take risks again when it comes to dating)."

The only effective way to challenge your thoughts is with brutal honesty. This is the portion of post-breakup recovery that I like to lovingly call "ripping off the Band-Aid." It hurts. It sucks. It's the only way out of this funk you've been living in. April Masini ofAskApril.com explains, "To process the breakup more quickly, be brutally honest about why it occurred. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're compatible or that you have a future together. Chances are, this breakup happened for a good reason, and if it didn't happen now, it would have happened down the line."

OK, by this point, you've been crying your eyes out for days, and you've forgotten to wash your hair. While it may seem like nothing could comfort you more than your tear-stained and snot-soaked pillow, Masini argues that this is the perfect time to get out of the house: Your mental health depends on it. She says, "Go get a great new haircut — completely different style! Put the focus on a new improvement, not a loss."

Dr. Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, adds, "Use the breakup as an opportunity to strike out on your own in the world, and you can discover new hobbies and interests that can make you feel better and more confident about yourself."

No, you don't have to sign up for a dating website with a quivering chin and tear tracks still fresh on your face, but you do have to make an effort to spend time with people you care about. This step is critically important to bring back a sense of normalcy to your life — and to remind you of all the people you have in your corner.

Sue Coleman, author of Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, says, "Go out and have a good time even if you're not ready. Take a trip to do something entirely new. Go to new places and meet new people. Have fun. Be happy that you're alive and free. You will have good days and bad, but take each day and know it will get better as time goes by. Just don't wind up in another undesirable relationship to replace the old. Give yourself the time you need to heal."

After an especially bad breakup, it may seem impossible to think that you will ever love again — trust me, I know. But Dr. Dain Heer, author of Being You, Changing the World, believes that this sense of loss can open the door to great possibility. When you find yourself at the end of a relationship, Heer urges you to ask yourself this compelling question: "What else is possible now that wasn't possible when we were together?"

Heer points out that, even in the midst of heartbreak, the end may be just the beginning. He says, "Move forward to create your life, and if the relationship can be created again with that person you desire to be with, it will be created from a greater, deeper place and not the same old place that made you break up in the first place. In my point of view, a breakup, especially stemming from an unhealthy relationship or perhaps just one that wasn’t meant to be, always leads to something greater."

Pork Menudo Recipe

Pork Menudo is the number one on the list of my comfort foods and it’s hard for me to last a month without trying one — literally. Some would say that I am addicted to this food while others would use the term “obsession”, I just simply look at it as a necessity – a basic necessity that I cannot live without.

Kilawing Kambing Recipe (Chopped Goatskin Kilawin)

Kilawing Kambing or Chopped Goatskin Kilawin is a Filipino appetizer dish wherein boiled and chopped goatskin is marinated in a mixture of vinegar, onion, ginger, spicy chili, and other spices. This dish is served along with the marinade, which eventually turns-out as the sauce of this dish.

Bistek Tagalog

How to Cook Bistek Tagalog

What Are Vitamins and Minerals?

Vitamins and minerals make people's bodies work properly. Although you get vitamins and minerals from the foods you eat every day, some foods have more vitamins and minerals than others.

Why Do People Become Vegetarians?

For much of the world, vegetarianism is largely a matter of economics: Meat costs a lot more than, say, beans or rice, so meat becomes a special-occasion dish (if it's eaten at all). 

Why Do People Diet?

People diet for many reasons. Some are at an unhealthy weight and need to pay closer attention to their eating and exercise habits. Some play sports and want to be in top physical condition. Others may think they would look and feel better if they lost a few pounds.

To Live a More Meaningful Life

Satisfaction and Meaning
Living a life that has some kind of meaning is one of the most widely held goals in existence — something by which we motivate and measure ourselves.Just how to do this is a conundrum that has challenged philosophers, scientists, and so many people throughout the ages.But perhaps the solution may not be as complex as it seems.While there is no single answer, research has shown that there are several factors that influence our ability to find satisfaction and meaning in life

Here then are a few pointers:

Develop a Sense of Purpose

If there is one factor that influences our ability to live a meaningful life it’s having a sense of purpose — a reason to get out of bed in the morning and to keep on going.

Not only does a sense of purpose fuel a sense of meaning in life, but it also brings with it more time in which to enjoy that meaning.

Research conducted at the University of Rochester has shown that having a sense of purpose in life not only increases the quality of our lives, but may also help us to live longer — regardless of our age. [1]

What’s more, the longevity benefits remained, even after other factors, such as relationships and positive emotions were factored in.

The take-away message is clear: having a sense of purpose is an important component in a long and meaningfully lived life.

Prioritize Connection With Others

Joint research conducted by psychologists from Stanford University, Florida State University, and the University of Minnesota shows that connection to others is necessary in order to bring meaning to our life. [2]

Being close to others, family or friends, results in a greater feeling of purpose, enhancing life’s meaning.

This doesn’t mean that we have to live in an ideal, perfectly harmonious family or social environment. The researchers clarify that connection to others should not be mistaken for “perfect” relationships. Quite the contrary, the process of conflict with relevant others, and the time invested in overcoming challenges and disagreements, can serve to deepen those relationships, so increasing life’s meaning.

Simply having those connections — even though stress may accompany them — is enough to give our lives a deeper sense of meaning.

Do For Others

It’s no great secret that giving to others improves our own feelings of purpose and meaning. Giving can take many forms, of course: donating our time, or our talents — or simply lending a friendly ear.

Helping others seems to be strongly correlated with increased life satisfaction. Lending a helping hand can provide a sense of purpose for us, young and old.

One fascinating aspect of working for the benefit of others is that helping others improves both physical and mental health. In fact, studies show that involvement in community service activities is linked to living longer. [3]

But volunteering once every now and then appears to be of little real use. If it is to have any meaningful impact, there is a threshold a person must meet when it comes to being of service to others.

Giving our time in order to help others on a more regular basis, will bring the greatest rewards in terms of enhancing life’s meaning, while maximizing our positive impact on the people with whom we come into contact.

In short, helping and doing good for others is an important component of any meaningfully lived life — it pays real dividends.

Express Yourself

Living a meaningful life is closely related to authenticity, to being who we truly are.

Many people struggle to be themselves for fear of criticism or rejection; as a result, they find themselves living a life that is far from satisfying or meaningful. When we are not allowed — for whatever reason — to be who we truly are, we greatly diminish the meaning we can derive from the life we live.

An excellent example of this is the recent transition, or gender affirmation, of Bruce Jenner to Caitlyn Jenner. Ms. Jenner lived her life for 65 years as someone whom she felt was not aligned with her true nature. Now that her gender affirmation is complete, she is at last able to express her authentic self, and in so doing, she is more able to live a life of greater meaning.

Here, then, is another important factor in our ability to live a meaningful life: We must be willing to live in an authentic way, one that allows us to express who we truly are — even if this takes courage.

Courage is Key

The simple fact is that sometimes it takes courage to live. And it can take even more courage to live a meaningful life. It can be all too easy to fall into the rut of habit, seldom reaching out, trying fresh, new things.

People who lead meaningful lives put themselves out there, they try new things, challenge the way they think, and doggedly seek out that which they want from life.

A good way to look at courage is to view it as a kind of tenacious willingness. An attitude of being willing to try something a little different — perhaps even something scary — in order to develop and maximize the meaning we derive from life.

Courage means being willing to make connections with others. Being willing to help our fellow travelers on life’s road. Being willing to care. As the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu put it: “From caring comes courage.”

When we have this kind of willingness then a deeper, more meaningful life will surely follow.

Meaning and Happiness Aren’t Always Interlinked

While we can be happy and find meaning in life, the two don’t always go hand in hand. [4] Living meaningfully means that we need to accept the fact that there will be bumps, bruises, and perhaps even unhappiness along the way.

Above all else, experiencing a meaningful life means living in the moment, while connecting the past, the present, and the future. Doing so gives us a clearer idea of where we need to go in light of where we have been.

Life itself is a process, and viewing things in their proper context — particularly our struggles and our sadnesses — is associated with greater meaning and a sense of purpose. [5]

Perhaps psychiatrist and Auschwitz survivor Viktor Frankl said it best:

“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.”

A Final Word

Finding meaning in life is an ongoing journey, a process that takes time, patience, and resilience. It is not something that occurs magically and without effort. It is not necessarily something that happens at a given point in our lives and is then “done and dusted.”

Neither does our sense of meaning need to remain fixed: What we find meaningful today may be replaced by a different meaning tomorrow. As life itself changes, so may the meaning we give to it.

While there is no secret formula that will help every single person find meaning, taking the steps outlined above will at least set us on the right path; one that can fulfill our goals, develop a deeper sense of understanding, and live the meaningful, more satisfying life we were meant to live.

“Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it.” — Joseph Campbell

Peter Field is a U.K. registered psychotherapist and board certified hypnotherapist. His hypnotherapy Birmingham and London clinics provide hypno-psychotherapy services for a wide range of issues. His extensive range of self-hypnosis downloads are also available.

Reference : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peter-field/more-meaningful-life_b_8118754.html

10 Principles for Peace of Mind

Peace Of Mind

1. Do Not Interfere In Others’ Business Unless Asked:

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others’ affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget:

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive,20 Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition:

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yours lf in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.

4. Do Not Be Jealous:

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody’s life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment:

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured:

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew:

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly:

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant:

An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God’s name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret:

Do not waste time in protracted wondering ” Should I or shouldn’t I?” Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Why cry over spilt milk?

Positive Thinking Story : Always Have A Positive Mindset

Always Have A Positive Mindset : Positive Thinking Story

Two cockroaches lived in a house. Both of them were young and full of energy. Each day, they would run, jump and chase each other while playing. Though they were equally strong, there was a difference.One cockroach was optimistic and always lived in hope, while the other was pessimistic and lived in despair. One day, while playing, both cockroaches fell into a pot of milk. They swam around and tried to hop out, but, as there was no solid support under their feet, it was not possible for the cockroaches to hop out and escape from the pot.One day, while playing, both cockroaches fell into a pot of milk.After some struggle, the pessimistic cockroach said. to itself, “It is impossible to hop out. No doubt, I have strength but I can’t swim very long. I am already tired.” Thinking thus, the cockroach did become tired soon and could not swim any longer. It gave up its struggle and went down to the bottom of the pot.Finally, it was drowned. On the other hand, the optimistic cockroach kept on struggling, saying to itself, “No doubt, it seems difficult but who knows! Maybe some miracle will occur. If I try a little longer, something good might happen. It is a question of only a few minutes more and then I will be out of here.”Hoping for a miracle to happen, the second cockroach went on swimming. His constant leg movements churned the milk and turned it into a huge heap butter. Soon the cockroach was able to climb up the heap of butter and hopped out of the pot.

Finding Happiness

What is the secret to a happy life?

While we definitely use our mind each and every day, very few of us have taken time to cultivate a deep understanding of its nature and function. Chances are, unless we have studied and trained in Buddha’s teachings, we probably know very little about the different types of mind, how they are generated and what impact they have on our lives. It is quite difficult for most people to recognize states of mind as they arise, and especially to distinguish between those that are virtuous and those that are non-virtuous.

10 Clever Tricks to Trigger Positive Emotions

10 Clever Tricks to Trigger Positive Emotions

Try these positive-action exercises to lift your mood and boost your confidence, increase your willpower and deepen your relationships.

Richard Wiseman

People who see the glass half-full are certainly happier than the pessimists of the world, and learning to think positively is worthwhile. However, changing the way you think can be surprisingly tricky, especially when the going gets tough. What if there were a way—a shortcut or hack—that positively affected how you feel when you just can’t seem to shake the blues?

Quick and effective exercises can help you feel happier, avoid anxiety, increase your willpower, deepen relationships and boost confidence.

A few years ago, I came across a simple idea that has been validated in hundreds of experiments and has given rise to quick and effective exercises that can help you feel happier, avoid anxiety, increase your willpower, deepen relationships and boost confidence. Perhaps most surprising of all, it does not involve trying to change how you  think.

The idea dates back to the turn of the 20th century and to the work of Victorian philosopher William James. Working at Harvard University, James proposed a radical new theory about the link between thinking and behavior. According to conventional wisdom, your thoughts and feelings cause you to behave in certain ways. Feeling happy makes you smile, and feeling sad makes you frown. James wondered whether the exact opposite might also be true, namely that the way you behave can change how you feel.

According to James’s theory, forcing your face into a smile should make you feel happy, and frowning should make you feel sad. James realized that if his theory were true, people should be able to create any feeling they desired simply by acting “as if” they were experiencing that emotion. Although the potential power of his idea clearly energized James (he often referred to it as “bottled lightning”), it was years ahead of its time and received scant attention from his fellow academics.

In the late 1960s, psychologist James Laird from the University of Rochester stumbled across James’s theory and decided to test it. Laird knew that he couldn’t simply ask people to smile and then report how they felt, because they might guess what the experiment was about and play along.

To overcome the problem, Laird advertised for volunteers to take part in a study on the electrical activity of facial muscles. When the volunteers arrived at the laboratory, Laird placed electrodes between their eyebrows and at the corners of their mouths. The electrodes were fake, but the clever cover story enabled Laird to discreetly manipulate his volunteers’ faces into a smile or frown.

To create a frown, the volunteers were asked to pull together the two electrodes between their eyebrows. For the happy expression, they were asked to draw back the electrodes at the corners of their mouths. After they had contorted their faces into the required positions, participants were asked how they felt. The results were remarkable. Exactly as predicted by James, the volunteers felt happier when they forced their faces into smiles and sadder when they were frowning.

Curious about this remarkable finding, other scientists started to carry out their own versions of Laird’s groundbreaking experiment. Rather than repeatedly placing fake electrodes on people’s faces, each laboratory produced its own version of the study.

Inspired by photographers who encourage people to smile by getting them to say, “Cheese,” University of Michigan researchers asked volunteers repeatedly to make an “ee” sound (as in easy) to force their faces into smiles, or an “eu” sound (as in yule) to produce expressions nearer to disgust. Similarly, researchers in Germany were investigating how to teach people who were paralyzed below the neck to write, and asked volunteers either to support pencils horizontally between their teeth (thus forcing their faces into a smile) or hold pencils between their lips (thus pulling their faces into a frown).

Time and again, the results revealed that James’s theory was correct, with volunteers who repeatedly chanted “ee” or supported pencils between their teeth suddenly feeling much happier. In short, behaving “as if” you were experiencing a certain emotion triggers that same emotion.

Other researchers have set out to discover whether the “as if” principle also worked in other areas of everyday life. Results have shown that very small changes in your actions can have a fast and long-lasting effect on your happiness, motivation, willpower, creativity and personality. So why not adopt more positive actions in your life?

Here are 10 positive-action exercises to try:

1. Feeling Happy

There is more to lifting your mood than forcing your face into a brief, unfelt smile that finishes in the blink of an eye. Instead:

• Relax the muscles in your forehead and cheeks, and let your mouth drop slightly open.
• Contract the muscles near the corners of your mouth, drawing them back toward your ears. Make the smile as wide as possible and extend your eyebrow muscles slightly upward. Hold the resulting expression for about 20 seconds.

Try to incorporate this mood-brightening exercise into your daily routine by, for example, smiling just before you answer the telephone or setting a reminder on your computer.

2. Moving On

Struggling to get over an upsetting choice you had to make? Researcher Xiuping Li from the National University of Singapore Business School asked each participant in a study to write down a recent decision he or she regretted. Li then asked some of the participants to seal their regrets in an envelope. Those who did so then reported feeling significantly better about their past decisions. Although they were just acting on a physically symbolic closure, their actions helped them reach psychological closure.

Next time you want some help getting over the loss of a client or a bad business decision, write a brief description of what happened on a piece of paper, put the paper in an envelope, and kiss the past goodbye. And if you really want to have fun, reach for the matches and convert your envelope into a pile of ashes.

3. The Power of Secrets

The more couples get to know one another, the more they disclose personal information. Psychologist Arthur Aron with the State University of New York at Stony Brook wondered whether asking two people to disclose personal information (and so acting “as if” they were more intimate) would make them feel especially close. Aron paired strangers, gave them a set of 36 questions that allowed them to open up about increasingly private aspects of their lives and then had them rate how they felt about each other. As predicted, the questions promoted a sense of intimacy and attraction. When using this technique to deepen your relationship with a colleague, family member or friend, take things one step at a time and make sure you’re both comfortable with the conversation.

Here are 10 sample questions from Aron’s experiment:

• Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
• Would you like to be famous? In what way?
• Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
• What would constitute a perfect day for you?
• When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
• If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
• What is your most treasured memory?
• What is your most terrible memory?
• For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
• If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

4. Pull Me–Push You

If you are dieting, try behaving as if you don’t like unhealthy food. Research shows that pushing an object away from you (and so behaving as if you didn’t like it) makes you dislike the object. Whereas, pulling it toward you (behaving as if you liked it) makes you feel far more positively about it. Next time you are confronted with a plate of sugary or fried snacks, simply push the plate away from you and feel the temptation fade.

Conversely, if you are in sales and want to make prospective clients feel more positive about a product, try placing it on a table in front of them and encouraging them to slide it closer.

5. Muscle Magic

People who are highly motivated often tense their muscles as they prepare to spring into action. But research from Iris Hung, an associate professor of marketing at the National University of Singapore, has shown that the opposite is also true—you can boost your willpower simply by tensing your muscles. Next time you feel your willpower draining away, try, for example, making a fist, contracting your biceps, pressing your thumb and first finger together, or gripping a pen in your hand.

Similarly, if you want to persevere with something, try crossing your arms. Ron Friedman, social psychologist and founder of ignite80, asked people to tackle difficult anagrams with their arms either crossed or resting on their thighs. By folding their arms, people were acting as if they were persistent, and they continued trying to solve the puzzle for nearly twice as long as those with their hands on their thighs.

6. Breaking Habits

You can help crack unwanted habits by behaving as if you are someone who never gets stuck in a routine. Psychologists Ben Fletcher and Karen Pine from the University of Hertfordshire in the U.K. carried out research in which people trying to lose weight were asked to adopt a more flexible approach to life (by, for example, being asked to stop watching television for a day or traveling to work using different routes). These small changes helped people break their bad patterns. Try to undo unwanted habits by behaving as if you are a flexible person and carrying out one of the following every few days:

• Try an unusual form of food.
• Visit a new art gallery or museum.
• Go to a shop that you have never visited before.
• Make time to see a film that you don’t think you will enjoy.

7. How to Negotiate

The chairs that you sit in affect your behavior, which in turn affects how you think. In a study by Joshua Ackerman, an assistant professor of marketing at the MIT Sloan School of Management, volunteers sat on either hard chairs or soft-cushioned chairs while paired with strangers to role-play the negotiation of selling a new car. Those in the hard chairs sat rigidly, while those sitting in the soft chairs felt comfortable—and sure enough, their behavior was significantly different. Those in the hard chairs were more inflexible in their negotiations and demanded a higher price for the car.

Hard furniture creates hard behavior, which underlines the importance of having soft furnishings in your home and office (except for when you need to be the bad cop).

8. The Power of Warm

The “as if” principle predicts that warming people up should make them feel far more friendly.

From an early age, we associate the feeling of warmth with safety and security (think hugs and open fires), and coldness with unfriendliness (think “getting the cold shoulder” and “icy stare”). The “as if” principle predicts that warming people up should make them feel far more friendly. Research conducted by University of Colorado psychologist Lawrence Williams suggests that this is indeed the case. Williams handed volunteers either a hot cup of coffee or a cold drink, asked them to read a short description of a stranger, and then asked them to rate the stranger’s personality. The volunteers who had been warmed up by the coffee thought that the stranger seemed much friendlier than those who had been clutching iced drinks.

If you are trying to befriend someone, skip the frozen cocktails in an air-conditioned bar and instead opt for a steaming mug of tea in front of a roaring fire.

9. All Together Now

Want to get a group to bond together quickly and believe in a single cause? Get them to act in unison. Assistant professor Scott Wiltermuth from the University of Southern California gathered groups of three volunteers. Some of the groups were asked to walk around the university campus normally, while others were formed into a small army and asked to march around the same route in step. In another part of the study, groups were asked to listen to a national anthem, and others were asked to sing along and move in time to the music. The people in each of the groups were then asked to play a board game in which they could choose to help or hinder one another. Those who had been walking in sync and singing in unison quickly bonded, and they were significantly more likely to help one another during the  game.

People who have bonded together often act in unison. Similarly, acting in unison helps people bond together.

10. Power Posing

A study done at Columbia University discovered that when people are put into “power poses,” they feel more confident, have higher levels of testosterone (a chemical associated with dominance) and lower levels of cortisol (a chemical associated with stress).

So if you are sitting down, lean back, look up and interlock your fingers behind your head. If you are standing up, then place your feet flat on the floor and push your shoulders back and your chest  forward.

Or, if you haven’t got time to strike a powerful pose, just make a fist. Psychologist Thomas Schubert from the University of Oslo asked a group of men to rate how confident they felt, then to form their hand into a fist for a few seconds, and then to re-rate their confidence. The volunteers’ bodies influenced their brains, with the men enjoying a significant boost in confidence because they had spent a few moments forming a fist.