Filipino Style: Ensaladang Repolyo with Chicharon

Ensaladang Repolyo with Chicharon is another Ilokano inspired dish that I would like to share. There are no special cooking method for this recipe except for the chicharon option. Cooking method is similar to my other ensalada post.

The vegetable is quickly blanch with boiling water then tossed with tomatoes, onion, bagoong na isda and some vinegar. You may top with crushed chicharon baboy or serve on the side. The chicharon I used are with laman. It would have been ideal if the Vigan bagnet is available. Here’s how I made my Ensaladang Repolyo with Chicharon, enjoy.

Ingredients:

1/2 small size cabbage, julienne
1 medium size tomato, chopped
1 small size onion, chopped thinly
2-3 tbsp. bagoon na isda
2 tablespoon. vinegar

Cooking procedure:

In a casserole boil water and blanch the cabbage for 1/2 to a minute, remove from water and drain, let cool. In a big bowl toss cabbage, and all other ingredients. Chill in refrigerator until ready to serve top with chicharon or serve on the side.

Filipino Style: Ampalaya Salad with Crispy Fried Dilis

Ampalaya Salad with Crispy Fried Dried Dilis. This is a dish I first learned from a colleague. The original dish was actually kinilaw na ampalaya with dilis. He would usually just slice the ampalaya then toss some chopped tomatoes and onions, then add some  fried daing na dilis. That version was really bitter. I love ampalaya but could not comfortably take it because of the raw bitter gourd. However I thought that this is a good dish, except that the raw taste of the bitter gourd has to be mellowed down. Today I tried to make my own version, by blanching the bitter gourd with boiling water for about a minute and immediately soaking it in ice cooled water to maintain the bitter gourd’s crispiness and also retain its natural vibrant green color. The dried dilis are already salty, therefore salt was no longer needed, not unless you have those less salty dried dilis. The dish is somewhat similar to my previous Ampalaya Salad without the bagoong na isda. Here is how I made my version of Ampalaya Salad with Crispy Fried Dried Dilis.

Ingredients:

1 cup dried dilis
1 large size ampalaya, de-seeded, sliced
1 medium size tomato, chopped
1 small size onion, chopped
cooking oil

Cooking procedure:

In a pan boil about 2 cups of water. In the meantime fill in a big bowl with cool water and ice. Now when the water in the pan is vigorously boiling, turn off the heat. Then add in the sliced ampalaya and let it blanch for about 1 to 2 minutes. Drain the hot blanching water and transfer the ampalaya to the bowl of ice cooled water. Soak the ampalaya in the iced cooled water for about a minute, drain and keep aside. In a frying pan add just enough oil to coat the bottom of the pan and heat until it starts to smoke. Add in the dried dilis and stir cook for about 1 to 2 minutes or until the color starts to darken, do not over fry. Remove from the pan and keep aside. In a big bowl toss the amplaya, onion and tomato. When ready to serve toss in the fried dried dilis, serve immediately while the dilis is still crispy.

Filipino Style: Boiled Vegetables Salad

Boiled Vegetables Salad. The simplest form to enjoy vegetables is blanch or boiled, serve with bagoong either bagoong isda or bagoong alamang and serve with diced green mango, tomato and onion. Boiled Vegetables Salad is best serve as a side dish for fried fish or grilled fish.

Tell What You Feel : How to Talk to Girls and Guys

Sometimes it can be difficult to "break the ice" and start a conversation with someone attractive. It can be difficult to know how to talk to girls, guys, women, men, etc. It can also be hard to make a good first impression while doing so.However, approaching and talking with a stranger can be done easily...and persuasively. You can learn to break the ice with finesse and talk to the girls or guys of your dreams! Read on...

Paano ba muling ibalik ang tiwala sa taong mahal mo?

Walang ng mas masakit pa sa nararamdaman natin kung ang taong minahal at pinagkatiwalaan mo ay niloko ka lang, sinaktan at sinira ang tiwalang binigay mo. Ang pagkawala ng tiwala ay may iba’t-ibang uri tulad ng pagsisinungaling, pangangaliwa at pagiging hindi tapat. Kahit saan man dito ay nagbibigay ng sakit sa ating nararamdaman sa ating puso’t-isipan. Ang Relasyon ay pinakamahirap dalhin na kakadepende rin sa isang pangyayari. Ang hindi pagiging tapat sa relasyon ay hindi nangangahulugan na katapusan na ng inyong relasyon? Sa ibang tao ang paglampas aat pag tangap sa isang kasinungalingan at nagkapatawaran ay isa sa nagpapatatag ng isang relasyon, kung meron pang kahalagahan sa iyo ang inyong relasyon at ito ay nakadepende din sa taong sinaktan mo kung papatawarin ka pa niya o hindi. Ang relasyon ay madali lamang ayusin pero depende rin kung muli mo pang ipanumbalik ang tiwala niya sayo.

Ang Trust ay katulad ng isang pandikit na nag-uugnay sa isang relasyon. Ito ay nag nagbibigay kapanatagan na nag uugnay sa inyo  ng taong mahal mo. Kung ang relasyon ay nagsisimula ang tiwala naman ay unti-unti na bubuo. Ang proseso ng pagtitiwala ay hindi ganun kadaling mabuo para magkaroon ng magandang relasyon kinakailangan natin ng maganda ay isang matatag na pagtitiwala. 

Paano kung Sinira na ng taong mahal mo ang tiwalang ito?

Ito ang apat na paraan paano mo patatawarin at pagkakatiwalaan uli ang taong minsan nanakit at sumira nito.

1. Patawatin mo ang Sarili mo

Ang pinakama importanting paraan kung papaano mo patawarin ang isang tao ay ang pagpapatawad muna sa sarili mo. Sa pagmuni-muni sa isang pangyayari talagang makakaisip tayo ng bagay kung meron din ba tayong nagawang pagkakamali o kakulangan kahit minsan sinasabi natin sa sarili natin na ginawa naman natin lahat. Minsan sa sarili natin iniisip din natin kung papaano natin gawan ng paraan na hindi na maulit ang ganitong pangyayari sa ating buhay at relasyon. Lagi mong tatandaan na ang ugali ng isang tao ay nasa kanyang sariling kagustuhan at kung sino talaga sila hindi kung sino ka?

2.  Patawarin mo ang ibang tao

Napakaimportante ang pagpapanumbalik sa tiwala mo sa isang taon. Napakahirap man tangapin na ang pagbibigay tiwala at pagpapatawad sa isang tao dahil gusto natin na sila na mismo ang makakarealize sa kanilang masamang pag-uugali at hahayaan sila na gumawa ng paraaan para bumalik ulit ang tiwalang binigay mo sa kanila. Ang kaalaman sa pagpapatawad sa isang tao at pagbibigay ng kapayapaan sa isang pangyayari sa nakaraan ay mapadali kung nakatuon ang atensyon mo sa isang pangyayari instead na tingnan mo lang ang kanyang ugali na panglabas. Ang pagtingin sa perpective ng isang tao kung ano ang kanyang nagawa nakabutihan ay hnakakabuti kaysa tingnan mo kung sino siya. Alamin mo ang mga bagay na magaganda na nagawa niya hindi yung isang pagkakamali niya.

3. Pagkatiwalaan mo ang iyong Sarili 

Mahirap pagkatiwalaan ang isang tao kung hindi mo alam paano pagkatiwalaan ang sarili mo. Maniwala ka sa sarili mo kung paano at ano ang dapat mong gawin para tangapin ang katotohan na nangyari. Lagi mo itatatak sa isipan mo na ang nangyari ay nangyari na ang magandang gawin lamang ay tangapin ang katotohanan. Sa pagtangap ng katotohan ay kasabay din sa pagtitiwala na tama ang desisyon na gagawin mo na patawarin siya. Sa pamamagitan nito matatangap mo at mapapanagako mo sa sarili mo na hindi niya na ulit gagawin ang ganitong bagay sa buhay niya.

4. Pagkatiwalaan mo ang ibang tao 

Kung mayroon ka ng tiwala sa sarili mo oras na siguro para pagkatiwalaan mo ang ibang tao. Ang pagsisinungaling sa isang relasyon ay hindi ganun ka daling tangapin, kinakailangan nating dumaan sa proseso na pagtangap sa kung ano ang nangyari, pero ang pagtitwala ulit sa ibang tao ay ang maglalabas sa iyo sa rehas ng hindi pagtitiwala sa iba.

Hindi ganun kadali tangapin ang pangyayari pero isipin mong mabuti bakit niya kaya na gawa iyon. Ang pagbibigay ng tiwala ay kingkailangan din ng malaking pag-unawa. Pagiging matatag sa loob na hindi niya na ulit gagawin ang mga bagay na alam mo makakasira ulit sa inyong relasyon.

Relationships are vital to our well-being and quality of life. Without the difficult times, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good times. Working through a ruptured relationship offers you the opportunity to grow as a person and perhaps find a deeper meaning in the relationship itself.

Ang relasyon ay pinakamahirap na dalhin sa buhay ng isang tao, merong pangyayarin na mahirap dalhin at mahirap panindigan pero kailangan natin tangapin at isipin ang mga magagandang bagay na nagdaan sa buhay niyo. Ang relasyon ay pagpapatubo ng isang tanim kailangan mo itong alagaan at paglaanan ng oras para magkaroon ng magandang bunga sa hinaharap. Tatambakan mo ng magagandang pangyayari para magiging maganda ang inyong pundasyon.

How to Differentiate Between Love and Friendship

It’s normal to love your friends. But how can you be sure that what you are feeling is not actually romantic love? Sometimes it might be hard to tell the difference between platonic friendship and a different kind of love. If you’re feeling confused, take some time to examine your relationship. Think about specific examples of times that you’ve experienced feelings of love. You can also consider your priorities. What are you looking for in a partner? Do you want to try to take the relationship to the next level? There are ways you can figure this out without risking the friendship.

1. Rate the intensity of your feelings. Spend some time thinking about how powerful your emotions are. You can feel many of the same things for both a friend and lover, but the degree to which you feel these things is often an indication of whether or not you love someone. In general, the more intensely you feel about a certain person, the more likely you are experiencing love.

• For example, you might feel chemistry with your friend because you both laugh at the same jokes and have an easy time talking to each other. When you love someone these feelings are more intense. You might feel giddy or excited.

2. Notice physical reactions. Your body can help you determine whether you’re in love. Your heart beat might become more rapid, you might feel like you have butterflies in your stomach, or you might become nervous and flustered. You will most likely not experience physical changes like this when you’re dealing with friendship.

• When you meet up with a friend, you are probably excited. However, you probably won’t experience any major physical changes when you see them or give them a hug.
• With someone you love, you may experience physical changes you can’t control. Your palms may sweat, your voice might become shaky, or your heartbeat could increase.

Compare this relationship to others. Think about how a certain relationship compares to the other friendships in your life. You probably have lots of friends, but you only feel love for one person. If you love someone, their relationship may be more important to you than the other people in your life. You may also feel a more intense connection to this person.

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8 Signs Your Husband is Still Madly in Love With You

 7 Lucky signs he truly loves You8 Signs Your Husband is Still Madly in Love With YouHe knows you hate doing the damn dishes—so he does them.He always says "whatever you want" for date night.He says your first name during sex.He'll go to that theme-party without whining.He's quick to end an argument.He puts the electronics away.He never says the 'D' word.He still makes an effort to surprise you.

7 Lucky signs he truly loves You

Some people, especially those from rural communities, may recall back in the days seeing the bright yellow vines growing on trees that were popularly known as 'love bush'. Finding out whether or not someone was in love with you was simple. All you had to do was draw a handful of the vines spit on it, call the name of your mate and throw back the vines on a tree of your choice. If after a few days the vines were still alive and spreading then you would know for sure that he/she was in love with you. If it died, well... there was no love lost there!

But there is obviously a truer way to tell if he means it when he speaks those three words.

Transformational coach Courtney Kazembe said one first has to understand what love is in order to know when their partner is in love with them.

"Understanding love is the most critical thing. A lot of people mistake attention for love," he said. "Love is when you can tell the person the truth and tell the other person what is going on inside of you."

1. He makes time for you

2. He compromises: Just about every couple will have arguments. How it is dealt with determines how he really feels about you. For him being right isn't as important as doing right by you just to make you happy. Signs of selflessness are huge indicators of love. Love also means dropping his pride and admitting when he's wrong and never being afraid to say I'm sorry.

3. He treats you with respect: This goes without debate, if a man is in love with you, he will respect your opinions and celebrate your accomplishments.

4. He opens up to you: He will tell you what he's thinking, feeling, fearing, and longing for. If he really opens up about things like his childhood, most painful moments, his background, then he now feels comfortable doing so and he means it when he says he loves you, especially if he tells you things he has never told anyone else before.

5. He uses 'us' instead of 'I': When he stops thinking of himself as a single man but has replaced the 'I' with 'Us', showing that you are now a part of his life then he means it when he says he loves you.

6. He wants the best for you; even if it isn't the best for him.

7. You're always on his mind: If he calls you at odd hours of the day just to let you know that you are on his mind and tells you that he genuinely can't stop thinking about you then he mean it when he says I love you.

3 Psychological Triggers That Can Help You Close Deals Faster

By Rusty Williams in Sales, Work SmartAbout 40% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions.  As the calendar flips to a new digit, people see an opportunity for a fresh beginning and a renewed opportunity to commit to their goals.  It doesn’t take long, however, for time to pass and people to fall back into their old ways.  By the end of the year, only 8% of those who made resolutions are able to keep them.

YOUR EX MOVES ON SUPER-FAST

USE THESE POINTS FOR FAITH-BASED PERSPECTIVE:

1. Receive it as confirmation from the Lord.I know in the moment it feels so horrible and almost like betrayal, right? But God has done the same in my life: making something crystal clear when I needed him to. If this guy isn’t for you, it could be easy to stay in contact with him if you both were heartbroken and vulnerable, you know–still pine after him, or send a random text or snapchat every now and then, etc. But when he’s got a new girl, it almost helps you avoid those things by default. The breakup was step one in realizing that God doesn’t have this guy for you. But him moving on to another girl so quickly is step two from the Lord and reinforces that his character isn’t that of a man yet; it’s the character of a boy. 

I’m not slandering him, I’m simply saying if he’s moved on to another girl this quickly, he probably hasn’t been engaging with God first. And as a believer, you don’t want a boy like that. Trust me, God is using this as a way to put a nail in that coffin for good and he’s asking you to trust Him. Do you want to marry a man that has a tough circumstance in life and then runs to everything else except the Lord? Do you want a man who trusts in quick-fixes? Or do you want a man that truly seeks God when something unexpected hits? It seems this boy is not that type of person. Again, not slandering him, just showing you that God is protecting you from a future with this person. Running to the nearest girl after a breakup only reinforces this boy’s character. Choose to see this as a confirmation from God of the original decision to breakup–not as a punishment from Him.

2. Use it as a season to give your broken heart to the Lord.
I know this sounds obvious and cliché—“give your heart to God.” Although you and I know that Christiany phrase, I’ll bet you’re a lot like I was. I usually ran to other things to make me feel better when I was upset about a breakup— a movie, a ton of TV show episodes, eating a lot, talking to my friends about it all the time, a glass of wine, the attention of another guy—anything to make it go away for a little while. But, listen, God is giving you a strategic opportunity to learn how to give HIM your broken heart. Don’t give it to TV. Don’t give it to another boy prematurely. Give it to God. Meet with him every night and pour out your heart to him. Let him be the first one who catches your tears. Read the Psalms for comfort. Don’t give this vulnerable time to any one else. You’re going to wade through the pain of this breakup regardless, so you may as well let it be a tool to deepen your relationship with God.Be able to look back and say, “that was a really rough time, but I do know this: I truly gave it all to the Lord and left it at His feet. I didn’t run somewhere else.” These are the days that you start training your heart to run to the right places when life hits you hard. So this situation isn’t stupid, and it’s not to be lightly passed over. Take it as an opportunity to train your heart to open up to God. Don’t waste this season trying to get to the next one. Some of our deepest seasons with God are those when we are hurt and he comes to comfort us. Don’t shy away or try to act like a hero if you’re truly heartbroken. Be sad, but mourn with God, not the world. God wants that heart of yours, in whatever condition it may be in. And he’s the only one who has the ability to truly mend it:

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
(Psalm 34:18)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
(Psalm 147:3)

3. MOST IMPORTANTLY: Remember who your Savior is
One of the best benefits of being Christian is that we follow a God who understands our deepest heartbreak. What a gift this is! Our God is not one who sits in an ivory tower above us, unfamiliar with what it’s like to be human. One of my favorite parts of Christian doctrine is that Jesus understands divinity, sure, but he understands humanity fully too! He knows what it is to be human, vulnerable, heartbroken, exposed, betrayed, and the like. We have a God that can empathize with our pain, a God who was heartbroken too and can walk with us through it. Remember that Jesus himself was betrayed by those closest to him. He understands that pain. He’s not on the sidelines telling you to “get it together.” He’s on the field with you. He’s been through it too. You feel like this boy moved right past you, onto the “next thing.” You feel picked over. Isn’t it insane that GOD has felt that way and can relate with you? Think of all the times in the Bible and even now that we move right past God, our first love. Think how many times we run to the “next thing” that we think will satisfy. Think how many times we ourselves have done the “picking over.” The people he came to love rejected him without blinking an eye. All that to say, He gets it.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
(Hebrews 4:15)

He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. (John 1:11)

He was despised and rejected–a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised by people, and we did not care.
(Isaiah 53:3)

So we know that God doesn’t have this guy for you. But how do you deal with the “everyday” stuff that hurts so bad?

1. Unfriend, Unfollow, Un-EVERYTHING: I know this is a toughie, but it SO has to happen. You just have to do it: unfollow him. Unfriend him. Delete him from all your apps and your contact list–and hers for that matter! The hardest thing about moving on from an ex in this day and age is that there are about 15 places you cross paths with him (both in the real world and the virtual one) that you have to re-route in order to avoid him: school hallways, hometowns, social gatherings, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, texting, email, Gchat, etc. You have so many portals that lead you to his life and you have to shut them off. It’s hard. It’s really hard. But watching his life from afar will only make it worse. TRUST ME on that one. I did it for way too long, and it’s still tempting sometimes, even though I’m married! Again, if you sneakily “follow him around” on social media, then you’re training your heart for the future. And as a married woman I can tell you, that “I’m just checking in on his life” pattern doesn’t turn off. My heart wants to do that stuff because I did it for almost 7 years in the past. Don’t allow it to become a pattern now. You have the chance to pull the plug and train your heart to not be a social media stalker. It will pay off later. Trust me.

2. Make plans:
This one is pretty obvious. If your schedule is wide open with nothing to do, you can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll end up pining away after this boy, or worse, stalking him on social media. This one is just plain practical: make plans with people. Go to a movie where you can’t be on your cell. Head to a friends house. Go out to eat with your family. Watch a family movie in the living room where everyone can see what you’re doing. Go bowling. Take a jog with a friend and leave your phone at home. Just make some plans—and not with people that will allow you to “accidentally” run into him. Don’t make plans with his best friend or his sister. Capiche? Making plans helps your brain bounce to another activity. My mother always called it “changing the channel.” It really helps.

3. Tell your closest, most reliable friends and have them hold you accountable.
This one is HUGE. Tell a couple close Christian gal-pals (notice I didn’t say talk about it with 15 people) your struggle right now. And make them swear to hold you accountable. When I had a weak moment  during a breakup (i.e.—I REALLY want to text my ex right now. I miss him! Help!), I had a close friend I would text instead. I literally replaced his number in my phone with hers! She knew my situation and she’d always respond—“Sooo glad you texted me. Let’s go get some ice cream. And I’m taking your cell phone when we get there.” We all have friends that will let us do whatever we want. They aren’t the friends you need to keep around you in this season of life. You need the friends that will chuck your phone across a room in order to protect you.

4. Don’t gab about it too much.
You need accountability, yes. But sometimes I used to find myself talking about the breakup under the guise of “I need your accountability.” The truth was this: I just wanted to talk about him. I just liked talking about him and bringing him up. It made me feel like I was still part of his life, like we were still “something.” Try and limit these kinds of conversations. The more you gab about him, the bigger you make the situation in your mind and the harder it is to get over him. Bring it up to a friend when it’s absolutely necessary–you know, like if you feel the urge to contact him or swing by his house. Again, remember, you are using this season to bring it all before the Lord. So if you need to talk about it, talk about it with HIM first.

I hope these points help. Let me know how it’s going. I’d love to hear how to Lord works in this. Praying for you sister!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Jesus
(Matthew 11:28)

8 Steps to get over a breakup as fast as possible

Breaking up sucks. No one likes to do it. We do everything we can to avoid it. But once the inevitable happens, is there anything that can be done to cushion the blow?At different times in my life, I have been the dumper and the dumpee. Being the dumper is never fun because of the anxiety, awkwardness and conflict that is sure to follow. If you're the dumper in a serious relationship, it's not like you don't have a heart: It hurts to see someone you love in pain, even if you believe the relationship has expired.

But being the dumpee — well, that's a whole new level of suck. The majority of us have had the "pleasure" of experiencing the ultimate heartbreak, being dumped out of the blue by someone you are head over heels in love with. And when that happens, what are you to do? Yes, you can dive right into an ice-cream-and-crying-TV-marathon, but that's only going to get you through the first few days.

If you really want to grow, heal and move forward after a bad breakup, here's where to begin:

1. Accept the empty feeling
2. Cut off all contact for real
3. Feel your feelings
4. Challenge your negative thoughts
5. Be brutally honest with yourself
6. Do you
7. Get back out there
8. Look toward the future and don't look back

That moment when you realize you've been dumped by the love of your life feels like death. And as actor and comedian Jim Dailakis points out, it should. The key is to allow yourself to embrace the grief if you ever want to move past it. Dailakis tells SheKnows, "Breaking up is very similar to a death because it is in fact the death of a relationship. For at least a couple of days, remember the good times and allow yourself to cry like mad. An exorcism if you will."

In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Absence is exactly what you need to cool off, process your feelings and change your perspective at the end of a relationship. Laura Yates, a UK-based relationship and dating coach who specializes in heartbreak, explains, "Something I recommend is a period of no contact. No texts, emails or social media messages because you need time and distance to get emotional clarity. When you just break up with someone, your emotions are all over the place — you will likely miss them desperately and overlook all the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place just to have them there with you again."

I'm a big believer in feeling your feelings until you are done feeling them. But sometimes raw feelings, especially after a breakup, can get overwhelming, and that's where cognitive behavioral therapy fits in. According to Dr. Simon Rego, Director of Psychology Training at Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, is your best bet to manage intense and possibly destructive feelings after a relationship ends.

He explains, "Often when people are going through a breakup, they experience certain feelings (sad, anxious, angry, hurt, betrayed, etc.) that influence the way they think (e.g., It's all my fault! I'll never find someone else! I can trust people anymore! etc.) — and vice versa. So, in order to move past a breakup, CBT would have people allow themselves to experience their feelings fully. Don't try to avoid or suppress feeling what you feel — emotions have a function and are there for a reason, even if unpleasant!"

If I've done it once, I've done it a thousand times. I start to allow myself to feel my saddest feelings after being dumped, and then my thoughts take a sordid turn into Crazytown, population: me. Dr. Rego says that this type of post-breakup thought pattern is to be expected. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help challenge thoughts that are spinning out of control.

Dr. Rego recommends, "Don't buy into the thoughts that emerge (e.g., challenge predictions about the future, correct distortions in beliefs, etc.) and slowly but steadily reengage the world (i.e., reach out to social supports, make plans that get you out of the house, exercise and eat well, return to healthy sleeping habits, take risks again when it comes to dating)."

The only effective way to challenge your thoughts is with brutal honesty. This is the portion of post-breakup recovery that I like to lovingly call "ripping off the Band-Aid." It hurts. It sucks. It's the only way out of this funk you've been living in. April Masini ofAskApril.com explains, "To process the breakup more quickly, be brutally honest about why it occurred. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're compatible or that you have a future together. Chances are, this breakup happened for a good reason, and if it didn't happen now, it would have happened down the line."

OK, by this point, you've been crying your eyes out for days, and you've forgotten to wash your hair. While it may seem like nothing could comfort you more than your tear-stained and snot-soaked pillow, Masini argues that this is the perfect time to get out of the house: Your mental health depends on it. She says, "Go get a great new haircut — completely different style! Put the focus on a new improvement, not a loss."

Dr. Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, adds, "Use the breakup as an opportunity to strike out on your own in the world, and you can discover new hobbies and interests that can make you feel better and more confident about yourself."

No, you don't have to sign up for a dating website with a quivering chin and tear tracks still fresh on your face, but you do have to make an effort to spend time with people you care about. This step is critically important to bring back a sense of normalcy to your life — and to remind you of all the people you have in your corner.

Sue Coleman, author of Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, says, "Go out and have a good time even if you're not ready. Take a trip to do something entirely new. Go to new places and meet new people. Have fun. Be happy that you're alive and free. You will have good days and bad, but take each day and know it will get better as time goes by. Just don't wind up in another undesirable relationship to replace the old. Give yourself the time you need to heal."

After an especially bad breakup, it may seem impossible to think that you will ever love again — trust me, I know. But Dr. Dain Heer, author of Being You, Changing the World, believes that this sense of loss can open the door to great possibility. When you find yourself at the end of a relationship, Heer urges you to ask yourself this compelling question: "What else is possible now that wasn't possible when we were together?"

Heer points out that, even in the midst of heartbreak, the end may be just the beginning. He says, "Move forward to create your life, and if the relationship can be created again with that person you desire to be with, it will be created from a greater, deeper place and not the same old place that made you break up in the first place. In my point of view, a breakup, especially stemming from an unhealthy relationship or perhaps just one that wasn’t meant to be, always leads to something greater."

Pork Menudo Recipe

Pork Menudo is the number one on the list of my comfort foods and it’s hard for me to last a month without trying one — literally. Some would say that I am addicted to this food while others would use the term “obsession”, I just simply look at it as a necessity – a basic necessity that I cannot live without.